Review by Choice Review
The dramatic shifts in the roles of men and women in the past several decades have produced a wide range of responses. Many men have become confused and disoriented. Few books have addressed the dilemmas that men now face as well as this one. Betcher and Pollack, trained therapists, have drawn on their years of experience to analyze and interpret the strains affecting contemporary men. Their assessment is done with a great deal of perceptiveness and sympathy. They creatively use the rich literature of psychoanalysis and Greek mythology to present their interpretations. Their insights are given in clear language that even those not trained in psychology or psychotherapy can understand and appreciate. This book not only provides a careful analysis of contemporary American society, but also offers, to men and women who may be puzzled by the current confusion in sex roles, a useful framework for understanding their personal milieu and the general environment of emerging relations between men and women, new patterns of parenting, and a fresh approach to marriage. Advanced undergraduates and above. J. R. Hudson; Pennsylvania State University, Harrisburg
Copyright American Library Association, used with permission.
Review by Booklist Review
Homo Americanus, the object of exhortations to tenderize, emphathize, and somehow feminize his feelings, is in a state of flux. Some bleat Bly and beat drums; others cheerfully change diapers; and a vestigial remnant resists the zeitgeist. This duo of psychiatrists speaks to the remnant, represented by your typical mid-40s divorce with two kids who in extremis turns to the analyst's couch. Substituting this less expensive volume for the couch, such a character will find succor in a "language of valued differ~ences" that explains, to himself at least, his autonomy from women. If that fails, Betcher and Pollack can get through to him with a crash, annotated course in ancient Greek literature. Excerpting numerous lines from Oedipus Rex, Medea, The Iliad and The Odyssey, the doctors cum critics pull out the roles and rites of passages that old Freud also kicked around. Arranged topically around fathers (and fatherhood), authority figures, and some long-lost "numinous" special woman some men pine for, this text is a considered, jargon-free exposition that imputes little effect to the feminist critique of masculinity. A comfort to some, heresy to others, this ought to provoke considerable interest. ~--Gilbert Taylor
From Booklist, Copyright (c) American Library Association. Used with permission.
Review by Publisher's Weekly Review
The day of John Wayne and the Marlboro Man is over, assert psychologists Betcher ( Intimate Play ) and Pollack, both on staff at the Harvard Medical School and McLean Hospital. Many men today, they argue, need assistance in establishing a new persona; their book, pop psychology for intellectuals, makes a valuable contribution to that quest. The authors stress the fact that a boy has to distance himself from his mother in a way that a girl does not and that this separation is a major trauma for all males, often exacerbated by the presence of a non-nurturing father. They deal with such issues as male rites of passage, adjustment to the world of work, the role of sports (not just prolonged boyhood, they claim) and, above all, love and sex. Forcefully argued but never dogmatic, this is an impressive piece of psychological analysis. (July) (c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved
(c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved
Review by Kirkus Book Review
Men and women are essentially different--historically, biologically, culturally, psychologically--according to Harvard Medical School psychiatrists Betcher (coauthor, The Seven Basic Quarrels of Marriage, 1991, etc.) and Pollack. Here, employing a wide cultural perspective, the authors--who contend that feminist thinkers have interpreted these differences as male imperfections- -attempt to redeem and transform contemporary men. Men grow up masculine by differentiating from their mothers, say the authors, while women become feminine by resembling them--so men are comfortable with aloneness while women require relationship. Moreover, men need ``Special Women'' (mother, wives, girlfriends) and ``Special Men'' (father, brothers, mentors) to ensure their sense of identity. But even with these role models, men are incomplete, since their development is also shaped by aggressive instincts, by a need for power and dominance that sometimes turns into rage and violence--self-defeating expressions of helplessness, as well as of a genuine biologically based vulnerability. Morally, men are burdened by abstract principles of duty that often conflict with personal obligations and that find a safe release in excessive work. Men find escape, play, identity, power, and relationship in sports or in sex--a ritual in which, at its best, they can lose themselves. In parenting, men discover a second chance to complete their development, to recover the lost child within, and develop the softer virtues that women require of them. The transformed man, Betcher and Pollack argue, has recovered what's essential in his masculinity and no longer measures himself against historical or social expectations. The source of men's sense of failure is in accepting the wrong heroes to measure themselves against--usually, classical ones such as Odysseus or Achilles who can no longer act as proper models in today's complex modern world. A solid, convincing, and important contribution to the literature on masculinity, backed by case studies and distinguished by subtle analyses of Greek myths and of such moderns as Freud, Jung, Bly, and various feminist commentators.
Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.
Review by Choice Review
Review by Booklist Review
Review by Publisher's Weekly Review
Review by Kirkus Book Review
