People skills : how to assert yourself, listen to others, and resolve conflicts /

People skills : how to assert yourself, listen to others, and resolve conflicts /

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Bibliographic Details
Author / Creator:Bolton, Robert.
Edition:1st Touchstone ed.
Imprint:New York : Simon & Schuster, 1986.
Description:xv, 300 p. : ill. ; 21 cm.
Language:English
Subject:
Interpersonal relations.
Interpersonal communication.
Communication.
Interpersonal Relations.
Interpersonal communication.
Interpersonal relations.
Format: Print Book
URL for this record:http://pi.lib.uchicago.edu/1001/cat/bib/5369643
Hidden Bibliographic Details
ISBN:067162248X : $7.95
Notes:"A Touchstone book."
Originally published: Englewood Cliffs, N.J. : Prentice-Hall, c1979. (A Spectrum book).
Includes bibliographical references (p. 280-295) and index.
Table of Contents:
  • Preface
  • Part 1. Introduction
  • Chapter 1. Skills for Bridging the Interpersonal Gap
  • Communication: Humanity's Supreme Achievement
  • The Ineffectiveness of Most Communication
  • The Ache of Loneliness
  • So Much Lost Love
  • A Key to Success at Work
  • A Life-or-Death Matter
  • You Can Change
  • You Will Change!
  • Managing Your Resistance to Learning
  • Five Sets of Skills
  • Summary
  • Chapter 2. Barriers to Communication
  • Common Communication Spoilers
  • Why Roadblocks Are High-Risk Responses
  • Judging: the Major Roadblock
  • Roadblock
  • Sending Solutions Can Be a Problem!
  • Avoiding the Other's Concerns
  • Roadblock Number Thirteen
  • Summary
  • Part 2. Listening Skills
  • Chapter 3. Listening Is More Than Merely Hearing
  • The Importance of Listening
  • Listening Defined
  • Listening Skill Clusters
  • Attending Skills
  • Following Skills
  • Summary
  • Chapter 2. Four Skills of Reflective Listening
  • Reflective Responses Provide a Mirror to the Speaker
  • Paraphrasing
  • Reflecting Feelings
  • Reflecting Meanings
  • Summary
  • Chapter 5. Why Reflective Responses Work
  • Style and Structure in Listening
  • Six Peculiarities of Human Communication
  • Skepticism Is Best Dissolved by Action
  • Summary
  • Chapter 6. Reading Body Language
  • The Importance of Body Language
  • Nonverbals: The Language of Feelings
  • The "Leakage" of Masked Feelings
  • Guidelines for Reading Body Language
  • Reflect the Feelings Back to the Sender
  • A Clear But Confusing Language
  • Summary
  • Chapter 7. Improving Your Reflecting Skills
  • Guidelines for Improved Listening
  • Beyond Reflective Listening
  • When to Listen Reflectively
  • When Not to Listen Reflectively
  • The Good News and the Bad News
  • Summary
  • Part 3. Assertion Skills
  • Chapter 8. Three Approaches to Relationships
  • Listening and Assertion: The Yin and Yang of Communication
  • Methods for Developing Assertiveness
  • The Need to Protect One's Personal Space
  • Impacting
  • The Submission-Assertion-Aggression Continuum
  • Payoffs and Penalties of Three Ways of Relating
  • Choose for Yourself
  • Summary
  • Chapter 9. Developing Three-Part Assertion Messages
  • Verbal Assertion: The Third Option
  • Three-Part Assertion Messages
  • Effective and Ineffective Ways of Confrontation
  • Writing Three-Part Assertion Messages
  • A Voyage of Self-Discovery and Growth
  • Summary
  • Chapter 10. Handling the Push-Push Back Phenomenon
  • Suprise Attack
  • The Human Tendency to Be Defensive
  • The Upward Spiral of Increasing Defensiveness
  • A Six-Step Assertion Process
  • Summary
  • Chapter 11. Increasing Your Assertive Options
  • Many Varieties of Assertive Behavior
  • "Natural" Assertions
  • Self-Disclosure
  • Descriptive Recognition
  • Relationship Assertions
  • Selective Inattention
  • Withdrawal
  • The Spectrum Response
  • Options
  • Natural and Logical Consequences
  • Stop the Action; Accept the Feelings
  • Say "No!"
  • Modify the Environment
  • The Danger of Going Overboard
  • The Aura of Assertiveness
  • Summary
  • Part 4. Conflict Management Skills
  • Chapter 12. Conflict Prevention and Control
  • Conflict Is Unavoidable
  • Conflict Is Disruptive and/or Destructive
  • The Benefits of Conflict
  • Realistic and Nonrealistic Conflict
  • Personal Conflict Prevention and Control Methods
  • Group/Organizational Prevention and Control Methods
  • The Dangers of Conflict Prevention and Control
  • Summary
  • Chapter 13. Handling the Emotional Components of Conflict
  • Focus on the Emotions First
  • The Conflict Resolution Method
  • The Conflict Resolution Method in Action
  • Four Ways to Use the Conflict Resolution Method
  • Preparation for the Encounter
  • Evaluating the Conflict
  • Expected Outcomes of the Conflict Resolution Method
  • Summary
  • Chapter 14. Collaborative Problem Solving: Seeking an Elegant Solution
  • Three Kinds of Conflict
  • Alternatives to Collaborative Problem Solving
  • Seeking an Elegant Solution Through Collaborative Problem Solving
  • Six Steps of the Collaborative Problem-Solving Method
  • What This Problem-Solving Method Communicates
  • Collaborative Problem-Solving in Action
  • Handling the Crucial Preliminaries
  • What Do I Do When Collaborative Problem Solving Doesn't Work?
  • Applications of Collaborative Problem Solving
  • Summary
  • Chapter 15. Three Essentials for Effective Communication
  • In Communication, Skills Alone Are Insufficient
  • Genuineness
  • Non-possessive Love
  • Empathy
  • Implementation of the Core Attitudes
  • Afterword. Four Steps to Improved Communication
  • A Quantified Commitment to Use the Skills
  • Select Appropriate Situations
  • Undaunted by Occasional Failure
  • Prepare Others for the Change
  • Skill Training
  • Notes
  • Index

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